Seraphim
by PodSara
Summary: Post Dirge of Cerberus. Cloud leaves everything behind to search for the one he lost. Meanwhile, Tifa struggles to raise two teenagers and keep the bar afloat as a new danger threatens the planet.


**SERAPHIM**  
_A FFVII: Dirge of Cerberus Fan Fiction_

* * *

_**ONE**_

Twelve years earlier-

* * *

Hojo stood over the latest specimen and was pleased with what he saw. She was so innocent, this one. Untouched by Jenova and absolutely free of defects. She would be perfect for his latest experiment, an experiment borne from the research of Dr. Lucrecia Crescent as well as some of his own more recent discoveries. The idea of implanting materia in a subject was one of Dr. Crescent's innovations, and Hojo had to admit, it was quite brilliant, even for a woman more driven by emotion than real science. In her attempt to resurrect Vincent Valentine, she'd created an abomination, a creature so ghastly and worthless, he should have been put down. The only reason he hadn't been terminated was because no one could get near the coffin where he slumbered beneath Shinra Manor without being gravely injured. Best to let him be. Best to let him die there, if that was his wish.

It would take years for this experiment to fully develop, and it would be glorious when it happened. The world would not be the same. If it survived at all. There was no telling what kind of destruction would be wrought when the subject reached maturity and it's true purpose was made apparent. No telling at all, but perhaps, this one might lead them to the fabled promised land should the current search prove futile. Perhaps it would lead them somewhere far greater than that, if such a place existed.

The idea for this experiment had come from one of Dr. Crescent's files on the Ancients. Besides her research on Chaos and Omega, she'd spent a great deal of time researching the fabled Dark Seraphim, the fallen one, who had been, in essence, the planet's heart and soul. The Seraphim was depicted as a great, white angel of astonishing beauty in early texts. The Seraphim's job was to bring life and beauty to the world-she was the genesis of all living things, the creator and protector of the Promised Land. However, when Jenova fell from the sky, the Seraphim was racked with disease and fell ill-so ill that everything around her died. Her love of life, of the souls that wandered the earth turned to bitter hate. Those that had worshiped her and prayed to her now cursed her name.

Fearing the death of the planet was near, the Cetra imprisoned the Seraphim inside materia, in order to keep her from doing further damage. It was said that the Seraphim had so tainted the materia, the crystal had turned black. According to Dr. Crescent's research, should the Seraphim ever be released upon the world, it would prove catastrophic, and the end would be inevitable.

It was the end that Hojo sought. The end would take them all to the Promised land, or so he thought. If Dr. Valentine and Dr. Crescent's research was accurate, anyhow.

And now, he had in his possession the necessary materia to make it happen. Just weeks ago, Rude and Reno had found the Seraphim materia for sale in Costa del Sol. The shop's proprietor had no clue what he had in his possession, since it seemed the materia didn't do anything, and he'd let them purchase it for a mere 50 gil. For that matter, the two thugs had no idea what they had, either. Rude had planned to give it to his mother as a gift because it was...pretty. r.

The fool. He'd held in his hands the most powerful and deadly materia in the world, and hadn't even realized it. Hojo had known right away what it was and offered a hundred Gil for it, which Rude had accepted with a grin and a shrug, thinking that he'd come out ahead. But Hojo was the one who'd gotten the deal.

"I am a genius," he muttered and flicked his eyes to his research assistant, Tialyn, who silently nodded her agreement that indeed, he was a genius. Hojo liked how his assistants all seemed to worship him. It made him feel good to see this pretty girl look at him with respect and awe.

And with any luck, he might be able to charm her straight into bed. Then she would truly worship him.

Hojo picked up the scalpel and made a precise incision on the specimen's chest. Gently, he parted the skin and Tialyn held it back with forceps. "The materia, please," he said to a second assistant, who's name he couldn't remember. She was new, but she too, seemed absolutely enamored of him. They all were.

She handed him the requested materia, and Hojo held it up to the light. The materia _was_ black as night, but it pulsed with a shimmering blue light from within, and it was very, very powerful. That he was certain of.

Once the subject reached a certain age, the power inside her would be difficult to contain. Only then would the Seraphim manifest, and only then would he see it's true power.

He couldn't wait.

What fun it would be!

He really _was_ a Genius.

* * *

Present Day-

Tifa Lockhart glanced at the clock and sighed softly to herself. It was closing time, not that it mattered. There was only one patron still in the bar, and he was about to settle his tab. Tifa went to the door and turned off the small neon sign that indicated the 7th Heaven was open and with another sigh, she glanced out at the street beyond the door. There was no one about at this time of night, which was strange for a bustling city like Edge. There was always someone around, no matter what hour it was, or at least there used to be, but lately things had been oddly quiet.

It had been a slow week at the 7th Heaven. Edge was growing larger by the day, and her business should have been booming, but it wasn't. Maybe it was because times were tough for everyone. The city was in a minor recession and jobs were scarce, which might explain the lack of customers of late. Still, Tifa remembered the days when the Seventh Heaven had been in Midgar and she'd never hurt for business, despite her customers shallow pockets and lack of employment.

Once the last patron was gone, she locked the door and went to the register to count the night's take. It amounted to just a little more than a five hundred Gil, which was pitiful. A typical slow night usually rendered triple that. If this kept up, she wouldn't be able to afford the electricity to keep the place open. While Mako had been cheap, Oil wasn't. Tifa didn't want to think about the fact that she might eventually lose the bar. If that happened, she would lose her home too. This building housed the bar, Cloud's office and a small living quarters where she, Cloud, Denzel and Marlene lived, plus the small orphanage above that, which housed twelve children of various ages. Of course, Cloud came and went as he pleased, and he sometimes he was gone for weeks at a time, doing whatever it was that Cloud did when he was out in the world.

Tifa set about cleaning up for the night, her spirits low for the first time in a while. On the nights when Cloud was around, after Tifa had closed up for the night, they'd have a couple of beers and talk and laugh together before they cleaned up for the night. She missed him when he was gone. The kids missed him.

He wasn't around much anymore. She wasn't sure what was going on with him, but he certainly wasn't making any money, which with the bar not making any money either, was not a good thing.

Several times, she looked at the phone, wanting to call someone, just to hear someone's voice on the other end of the line. The problem was, she didn't know who to call. Everyone was off doing their own thing, while she was here, struggling to make ends meet, alone, with no one to talk to but the kids, who weren't kids anymore but teenagers with problems of their own.

Marlene had been quite a handful lately and was sometimes mouthy and hard to take. Tifa attributed this to the fact that Marlene was now sixteen and feeling rebellious. For the last two months, she'd been arguing with Tifa about quitting school so that she could join the WRO, which was still much in demand in some of the more lawless parts of the world. Tifa wasn't having any of it. Marlene wasn't ready to go off and and fight, and if Tifa had her way, she never would. Tifa knew all too well the strain and struggles of war, and the last place she wanted Marlene was on the battle field. She deserved better than that.

Add to that, the fact that Marlene had been occasionally taking off in the middle of the night to go God knew where, and to do what, Tifa didn't even want to think about. Tifa figured there was probably a boy involved, though Marlene insisted there wasn't.

The truth was, Tifa was really worried about Marlene, but she didn't know what to do about it. The girl was going to get herself into trouble if she wasn't careful, and Tifa thought it was time to tighten the rules a little.

Denzel, on the other hand was a model student, well behaved and respectful. He helped out at the bar and with the other kids when he wasn't at soccer practice or doing his homework, and Tifa wasn't sure what she would do without him.

Both of the kids had grown so much. Tifa couldn't believe how much time had passed, or how much they'd changed. Denzel was taller than Cloud, with broad shoulders and was handsome enough to turn all the girl's heads when he walked down the street, not that he noticed because he was so shy. And Marlene. She'd grown up pretty and slender, though she was very much a tomboy, and too outspoken for her own good, which frightened any potential suitors away.

Tifa thought about the kids as she dumped the bucket of mop water into the sink in the back, then gathered the trash to haul out to the street. She opened the door and dragged the bags out to the curb and looked around at the night. There were no cars on the road, no lights on in the apartments down the street, and not a soul to be seen in either direction. It was eerie. Almost as if the entire population had vanished. Tifa felt a chill creep up her spine and she shuddered, hoping it was just her imagination.

As she stepped back inside and pulled the door closed, someone on the other side seized it and pulled it open again. Tifa let out a yelp and instantly went on the defensive.

"Jumpy?" Cloud asked as he stepped inside.

"You scared the crap out of me!" Tifa cried and cuffed him on the arm, relieved that she wasn't being attacked, and happy to see him home.

"Obviously. Something happen while I was gone?"

Tifa relaxed and shook her head. "Nothing in particular. It's just been really quiet around here. Too quiet."

"Noticed that on the way in. Usually a few cars on the expressway this time of night," he said as he took off his cloak and hung it on the coat rack by the door. "Tonight, it was just me. Not that I minded."

Tifa imagined that Cloud had enjoyed being alone on the expressway. She pictured him on Fenrir, driving too fast and loving every minute of it.

"Guess everyone's trying to conserve," Tifa said with a shrug. She went to the fridge and took out a couple of beers. "Want one?"

"You buying?" he teased.

"Only if you promise to leave a good tip," Tifa said and sat down at one of the tables. She placed Cloud's beer across from her and indicated for him to have a seat. She wanted to tell him about how defiant Marlene had been lately, and about how Denzel had qualified for advanced placement classes at school, and how well he was doing with his fencing lessons. She noticed, with great disappointment that he hadn't even given her a kiss when he'd walked in the door, as was his custom.

He was acting strange, distracted. He wouldn't meet her eyes.

Something was wrong.

Cloud sat across from her, took a swallow and stared at the wall behind Tifa's head for a long time. Finally, he cleared his throat and spoke, without looking at her. "I think she's still alive."

Tifa didn't understand who he meant. She'd expected him to ask about the kids or tell her about what he'd been doing the last few weeks. "Who?"

"Aerith."

Had he completely lost it? They had all been there when Aerith died. Sephiroth had killed her. They'd seen him do it. Cloud had seen it. Yet, here he was telling Tifa that Aerith might still be alive, and Tifa wondered if Cloud had finally snapped.

"Cloud, that's not possible," Tifa said slowly.

"I know it's not possible," he said and withdrew an envelope from his pocket. "But explain this."

Tifa took the envelope from his hands and opened it. Inside were several photographs of a girl in pink, a long honey colored braid down her back. Most of the photos were blurry and only showed a partial profile, but the last one was a close up of the subject's face. Tifa gasped in surprise and stared at the picture. The girl looked exactly like Aerith. It was impossible. Aerith was dead, yet the girl in the photo was the spitting image of her.

Except...something was different.

Tifa frowned and studied the picture more closely. The girl may have looked like Aerith, but upon closer inspection, Tifa wasn't so certain that it was. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something wasn't right. Maybe it was the cold look in the girl's eyes, the cruel smile that made Tifa reconsider her initial assumption. Aerith had been the nicest person Tifa had ever known. Even when she'd been angry, she'd never, ever worn such an icy expression.

"Where did you get these?" Tifa asked and sorted through the stack again.

Cloud shrugged. "About a month ago, I was in Junon picking up a big delivery, and I caught a glimpse of her in the crowd. Thought it was my imagination, but I followed her. I lost her, then found her again. Kept seeing her, everywhere. Heading into a shop, down by the cannon, near the airport, from the window at the hotel. Just a glimpse. Enough to make me curious, so I hired a private detective. Gave him an old photo of her, and those are what he was able to come up with."

He'd hired a private detective? With what money?

Tifa looked at the picture again. "These were taken in Junon?"

Cloud shook his head. "Kalm. He followed her there."

"This is what you've been doing when you take off?" Tifa asked in disbelief. "Chasing her ghost?"

"Not chasing her ghost. _Her,_" he said and tapped the photo.

Tifa sighed and got up. After all this time, he hadn't let go. Just when she thought he'd moved on, just when she thought his heart belonged to her, he went and pulled something like this. "How do you know it's her and not someone who just looks like her?"

"It's her," he said quietly. "I'm sure of it."

"Cloud, Aerith is dead. We all _saw_ it happen," Tifa said.

Cloud stared at the table between them, sipped his beer and sighed. "If there's a chance she's alive, I have to find out for sure."

"And what about Denzel and Marlene?" Tifa asked, angry with him now. "Don't you know how much they miss you when you're gone?"

_What about me?_ she thought. _I miss you too. I love you. Why can't you love me as much as you loved her?_

"They'll understand," Cloud said and got up. He tossed his empty bottle in the trash and got another one from the fridge. "Marlene loved her too, you know."

"We _all _loved her," Tifa said. "But you don't even know the kids anymore, and believe me they _don't_ understand. I mean, hell, Cloud, you didn't even bother to ask about them when you came in! Do you even care what's going on in their lives? Or my life?"

"Of course I care, Tifa, but I've got things..."

"Oh, stop it. If you cared you'd _be_ here," Tifa cut in. "I thought you said you were going to quit this and get on with your life."

"I know what I said," he snapped. "But, I have to know the truth. I can't let this go. Not when I have proof."

"You already know the truth, Cloud. Whoever this girl is, it's not her. It can't be. Aerith is _dead_."

Cloud chugged the beer and stared at her. "Then why the hell do I feel like she's still out there somewhere? I've got to know for sure, Tifa. I'm sorry, but I have to know."

Tifa felt as if someone had reached into her chest and ripped her heart out. All this time, he'd been sleeping with her, telling her that he loved her, and his heart still belonged to Aerith. She felt betrayed, like she'd just found out he'd been cheating on her, and in a way, he had been. Not in the physical sense, but he'd cheated her out of the love and devotion she deserved, and it wasn't fair.

Tifa got up, went to the bar and started cleaning it again, furious with him for doing this to her. "Fine, Cloud. Go find her. Do what you have to do."

"You're mad at me."

"Damn right I'm mad," Tifa said and held back an ocean's worth of tears. She didn't want him to see her cry. Not over this.

"Why?"

"Because you promised me that you'd let this go, because you lied to me and used me," she said and threw the dirty rag into the sink. "Because those two kids adore you, but you can't take time out of your busy schedule to spend time with them! Because I've..."

She broke off because it didn't matter anymore. Not now. Not when he'd showed up to tell her that he was about to go off chasing after someone who was gone for good. Again.

"Because you what?" Cloud asked.

"It's nothing," she said. All the fight had gone out of her. Nothing she said or did would make him change his mind, and if he'd made up his mind to find out who this girl in the photos was, that was what he would do. Cloud was Cloud, as she was so fond of saying. A royal pain in the ass, to use Yuffie's expression.

"Do what you need to do, Cloud. I hope for your sake, it is her," Tifa said. "Meanwhile, I'm going to have to figure out a way to keep this place afloat, because you obviously don't care if we sink or swim, so long as you have a place to crash when you're in town and store your crap when you're gone. So go ahead and go Cloud. Go chase your ghost."

"Tifa, please don't be like this," he said.

He sounded so calm, so rational, as if she were being unreasonable, and that infuriated Tifa.

"I have every right to be like this!" Tifa screamed. She was about to lay into him, but then she realized that she might wake the kids, and she didn't want either of them involved in this. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I've loved you since you were ten years old. All this time, and it's never been enough."

"I'm sorry Tifa," he said in a broken voice. Tifa realized that he was on the verge of tears, and it was all she could do to hold back her own. "I don't deserve what you've given me. You've been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and in my own way, I _do_ love you, but I can't love you the way you need me to. I tried. Believe me, I tried, and I wish I could, Tifa. With everything I have in me, I wish I could but I can't. I'm sorry..."

Tifa turned her back on him and buried her face in her hands.

Finally, the truth. He was sorry. He tried.

"Cloud?" she said. A strange kind of calm settled over her. She knew what she had to do.

"What?"

"Get your things and be gone by morning."

"Tifa, please..."

"Go away, Cloud. I don't want to hear any more."

* * *

  
Cloud stood in his office and looked around, his heart heavy and his conscience burdened by what he'd just done. He'd expected Tifa to be upset, but he hadn't expected her to throw him out. He thought she, of all people, would understand why he needed to do this. She'd known all along how much he'd loved Aerith, and if there was a chance to get her back, he'd go for it. She knew that, didn't she?

Maybe she did, but in Tifa's mind, Aerith was long gone. She had never considered the possibility that Aerith might come back, that through some ,miracle she'd been given another shot. It sounded crazy but it wasn't impossible. It had happened before. Through her own faith, her belief in the planet, she might have been returned to world of men, to live out the rest of her life.

Miracles _did_ happen. Cloud had to believe that, otherwise, what was the point of all this? He had to believe in her, that she was the girl in the photos. She'd come to him before, hadn't she? After all, Aerith had appeared to him, had helped him during the second Jenova Crisis. She had helped him fight Sephiroth. She hadn't been just a figment of his imagination. She had been there, _with him_, every step of the way. Even Tifa knew that.

Now, he had to believe that she was out there, waiting for him to find her. He had to believe that she wasn't gone for good. The pictures proved it, didn't they? This feeling deep inside him that told him that she was still alive, that couldn't be his imagination. Not after so long. If he only knew where to find her, all of this would be justified. If he found her, Tifa would understand. She would forgive him for what he'd done. Aerith had been Tifa's friend. She'd loved her too.

It wasn't that he didn't' love Tifa. She was his oldest, dearest friend in the world. He loved her in his own way, but that kind of love didn't compare to what he still felt for Aerith. No one had ever made him feel so complete, never before and never since. Not even Tifa.

Tifa deserved to be with someone better, someone who could give her his heart without regret and without the burdens of the past weighing heavy on him. Cloud knew one day, she'd find that man, but it couldn't be him. He hoped, for her sake that someone wonderful would walk into her life and take away the pain that he'd caused her. She deserved that much, and more.

With a heavy heart, he began to pack his belongings, praying that he wasn't about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

* * *

Marlene wandered the ruins of Midgar, armed with only a flashlight and her wits. She'd snuck out while the bar was still open, Tifa distracted by only a handful of customers, and headed into what remained of the decimated city. She'd been to Midgar many times, on other nights when she'd been unable to sleep, and she could spend hours inspecting what was left of the old buildings, though she'd never ventured too far in. There were rumors that several groups of bandits lived under the plates, they were violent lot. Marlene didn't want to get involved with them, so she stuck to the outer reaches, which always proved interesting enough, and no one ever bothered her.

For the last few months, Marlene had been having trouble sleeping. Bad dreams, agitation and restlessness plagued her, and the only way to cure herself of it was to wander until the sun came up. It left her exhausted, but she still made an appearance at breakfast, went to school and tried her best to act as if nothing was going on. It was getting harder and harder to pretend, harder to keep herself from blowing up at everyone around her, but each night, when she lay down, she found she couldn't sleep. Or, if she could, she had terrible nightmares that were so vivid and real, when she woke, she was convinced the world was ending.

Tonight was no exception. She'd laid down to sleep, tried to relax, but her body wouldn't obey. Every inch of her skin tingled and grew hot, and eventually, she'd gotten up and paced the room until she couldn't stand it any longer. She'd felt caged and nervous, imprisoned by the walls and irritated by the lack of space. The ceiling was too low, the room too cluttered. Her room had become a claustrophobic place, and she'd had to get out before she started screaming.

She'd stolen down the stairs and slipped out into the night, which always made her feel better. The night air cooled her burning skin, the motion of walking made the anxiety go away. She didn't know what was wrong with her, but she didn't want to talk to Tifa about it. Tifa would worry and make her go to the doctor, and Marlene was sure that whatever this was, it wasn't something a doctor could cure.

To compound Marlene's anxieties, she had the distinct feeling that the relative peace in the world was about to fall apart. She had no basis for her feelings, since it seemed that the world was mostly at peace, save a handful of hot spots where conflict had broken out. Still, she had a deep, disquieting sense of violence just over the horizon, and it made her hungry for knowledge of combat. She wanted to be able to defend and fight for the people and the city she loved. She wanted to be prepared for whatever was coming.

If only Tifa would let her join the WRO. They could teach her what she needed to know. She could have first hand experience in combat, and when the time came, she would have more than just her fists to rely on. But Tifa had refused to let her go, no matter how much Marlene pleaded. How could Marlene explain that she only wanted this because she wanted to be able to protect Tifa? To do so, she would have to explain her fears, the sense of impending violence, her restlessness, and Tifa wouldn't understand. She would think that Marlene was sick, or dismiss her worries as unnecessary.

So Marlene wandered Midgar, night after night, scavenging the ruins for interesting flotsam because it was the only thing that calmed her.

* * *

__

**A/N:**

Let me start by saying that most of the main characters in this story will be a little OOC. In some cases, maybe a lot. No flaming on that account please.

I've taken into account the events of the original game, Advent Children and of course, Dirge of Cerberus in the creation of this story...so don't worry if you read something that might seem a little off...as with any good story, things aren't always what they seem.

And don't worry...Vincent will soon make an appearance.

Don't forget to review!


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